Month: October 2020

Male Chastity: The Starting out Guide

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Male chastity is not new; the origins are a bit clouded in history. Still, the idea of orgasm control fascinates so many. When you start in chastity, it may seem daunting or it may be pure excitement. So many think you can just lock up a penis and that’s it, yet there is so much more to this journey.

The very first thing that needs to be considered is the chastity device itself. There are three basic classifications of male chastity devices.

The O Ring Chastity Cage:

This is a wonderful basic concept for a cage as it uses the testicles as an anchor point that an O ring is fitted around. There is a spacer and a cage. The spacer puts a small gap between the testicles and the locking point of the device.

What is nice about this design is that you can find it in lightweight surgical plastic, silicone, stainless steel, or carbon fiber. The cage will come in different lengths and patterns. The choice of materials is up to the wearer; however, I personally recommend a good stainless steel cage.

The Male Chastity Belt:

This is a belt, usually leather that runs from the device to the cage. Or, the other is a full shield design that covers the penis and testicles. This design is best for short term use or as an addition to a cage. The full shield can be difficult to maintain for bathroom duties.

A Chastity Piercing:

This is body modification and not to be entered into lightly as it takes time to heal and additional care afterwards. It is recommended that you find a professional, certified, and licensed person or shop in your area. Based on your penis size and shape and foreskin, there are a few configurations for piercings.

There are two parts when starting down the male chastity path that will become very clear. As a newcomer, it’s hard not to want to dive right in; however, without doing a bit of work, you will only find frustration. Many men that think about chastity, it’s fantasy and sex driven, which is never a bad place to start. It becomes an obsession, and that is where the chastity adventure begins.

The Physical Side:

Getting used to the device. For the first little while, you will want to start with short term wear. A play session or a night out is a great start. This will allow time to adjust spacers and rings. Once you have the most comfortable configuration, you can begin with overnight lockups. This could take a while to be able to concur this hurtle. Don’t give up. It will happen.

It is important to know that chafing, bruises, or tender spots might happen. If they do happen, refrain from using the device and allow healing to happen. It is perfectly normal.

It is also necessary to be clean in your device. Q-tips and pipe cleaners will be your best friends. You need to keep the penis as dry as possible. It’s highly recommended that once a week at least, the device be removed for cleaning. It’s at this time the penis can be examined, cleaned, and cared for (sans orgasm, of course).

The last stage is to add days. Once you can get to two or three full days, you can push limits. The easy part is now done.

The Emotional Side:

Here is a word of caution; many ladies lose interest in the idea of chastity for their male at this point, as this is an emotional journey for the male. In society, we have conditioned (though I do not condone this) men to show little feeling or pack it all down, and the end game of sex for men is almost certainly orgasm with ejaculation.

When males start this journey, they will find they are going to experience emotions that they will need to process. The key holder will need to be supportive yet firm during this stage of chastity training. To help in this, before you begin, discuss a length of time the male is to be locked up. Both parties need to be reasonable with time expectations. In the end, set a time for unlocking and stick to it.

The emotional side tends to be the failing point in a lot of chastity adventures. There are a few things you can do to help.

As the Female:

  • Be firm with the date of release.
  • Keep him focused on the end goal.
  • Allow and encourage him to be attentive to you.
  • Set small tasks that he can do.
  • Tease him often.
  • Listen to him and his concerns.
  • Allow him his feelings and DO NOT tease or humiliate him for them.
  • Praise him.

As the Male:

  • Be attentive.
  • Be romantic.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk about what you’re feeling.
  • Remember little things matter.
  • Now is the time to please her.
  • Talk about the fantasy. It will give her ideas.
  • Leave the expectations at the door.

This is a journey for two people and it’s important to both find value in the experience. This is one of those kinks that fits the saying: “It’s not the destination, but the journey that matters.”

 

The 24 Best Selling Sex Toys of 2020, So Far

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Even though it kinda seems like we’ve been in 2020 for….2o years, it’s hard to believe we’re only four months into the whole thing. Like, it sure feels like we’ve been in this year for a while. Last year we brought you our roundup of the best selling sex toys from 2019 and polled a bunch of sex toy retailers on their top sellers, and now, on a rando Thursday in April, we’re doing the same thing, but for 2020 — because why not? Feels like it’s been a year, right?

When looking for sex toys, it can be a good idea to go with the most popular toys to get a sense of what’s working for everyone else. Of course, every body is different and what works for the majority, might be the biggest disappointment of your life — but, how will you know unless you try? Generally speaking, uber popular picks that perform well time and time again across multiple sites are a good entry point. You can pretty much guarantee that it gets some people off, and it’s likelier to be a good product with a following and not just a rando one-off thing bought for convenience’s sake.

Here’s our roundup of 2020’s top selling sex toys so far, according to popular sex toy sites like Lelo, Babeland, Adam & Eve, PinkCherry, Lovehoney, b-Vibe, Le Wand, and Dame.

FROM LELO:

1. Sona 2 Cruise

The newest version of their game-changing Sona, the Sona 2 uses sonic waves to stimulate your whole clitoris without vibration that’ll numb you to the point of frustration. The newest version has more settings, so it starts out on a gentler intensity, and the opening is larger, so it fits a wider range of anatomy.

2. Soraya 2

It might not look like your average Rabbit vibe, but the Soraya 2 is actually designed with the same internal and external clitoral stimulation in mind. It’s like a Rabbit, if it became an art piece. The sleek gold detailing and ergonomic loop mean you can get it on without hand cramps. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, and has 12 settings.

3. F1S Developer’s Kit Red

The F1s Developer Kit might be the fanciest blowjob sleeve, ever. There’s a window so you can see the toy stroking, ten sensors, and it’s got controls designed specifically for one-handed use. It comes with an SDK, which allows users to modify and track their toy patterns, and also gloves? For all the typing you’ll be doing once you’re obsessed with modifying your F1s.

FROM BABELAND:

1. Magic Wand Rechargeable

The Magic Wand Original came out in the 70s, and while it’s still uber, uber, uber popular, the newer version is rechargeable and cordless, which is clutch, because you no longer need to be hooked up to a friggin’ wall outlet to use it.

2. Satisfyer Pro 2

The Satisfyer Pro 2 uses suction (feels kinda similar to the Lelo Sona) but is way cheaper, albeit not as cute. Where the Lelo Sona is all Silicone with gold detailing, the Satisfyer is mostly plastic, with only silicone on the opening for your clit. That being said, it’s a damn good price, and a pretty good product too. If you don’t like the squat shape of the Lelo Sona, the curved handle of the Satisfyer might be better for you as well.

3. Magic Wand Original

The original, corded Magic Wand is legit 50 years old, but still slaps, as people are discovering every day. It’s probably the most powerful vibrator out there, and is so clutch that people are still willing to buy the corded version just to keep using it. It’s also pretty affordable — what other cult-status toy can you buy for $60?

FROM ADAM & EVE:

1. Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

The Satisfyer Pro 2 also tops the list of best sellers from Adam & Eve — and it’s slightly less expensive than at Babeland.

2. Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl Rabbit Vibrator

The Greedy Girl Rabbit vibrator is probably one of the best Rabbits you can buy under $100. It’s got two independent motors for tons of power, 12 shaft vibration modes, and three clitoral stimulating modes. It was originally released way back in the Fifty Shades heyday but it’s such a damn good toy that it keeps selling like hotcakes. Here’s to hoping they never stop making it, even when Fifty Shades is like, thirty years old.

3. Pure Enrichment Peak Wand Massager

This smol wand-shaped massager is lightweight, waterproof, and has seven vibration modes. If you need something more powerful than a bullet, that isn’t necessarily insertable, this Peak Wand is a good bet.

FROM PINKCHERRY:

1. Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation

This is the newer version of the Satisfyer Pro 2, which means it’s got a redesigned shape (So angular! Looks like a knife!) and looks a bit sleeker than the ol’ nubby generation of Satisfyer toys (more on that in a minute). If you’re like, “The newer version is somehow cheaper! This is too good to be true!” — you’re right. It is cheaper, but it’s also battery-operated. Sigh.

2. The Original Magic Wand

She strikes again!

3. Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation Clitoral Stimulator

The first line of Satisfyer toys all had this nubby little base, and none of them were cuter than the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, which was yeah, designed to look like a penguin wearing a bow tie. I hope they never run out of these cute Pro Penguins, because that was an ERA. P.S. This one’s also USB rechargeable!

FROM LOVEHONEY:

1. Magic Wand Rechargeable Extra Powerful Cordless Vibrator

Annnnd another Magic Wand Rechargeable takes the top spot!

2. Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit 10 Function Rabbit Vibrator

This model is a good intro to Rabbit vibes because of the price point, but it’s also battery-operated, which isn’t great from an environmental or efficiency standard. Pretty much all higher end, quality toys, are rechargeable. But, that price though! There’s three speeds, seven patterns, and it’s waterproof (not all battery toys are waterproof, so this is a plus!).

3. Desire Luxury Rechargeable Remote Control Panty Vibrator

This panty vibe is not only affordable (it’s not unusual to see panty vibes going for more — way more), it’s also super popular because it delivers. It’s been around for a few years now, and the fact that it’s still a top seller says a lot about how good it is. It comes with an adjustable panty for the vibe, and a remote that can be controlled up to eight meters away from the actual vibrator.

FROM B-VIBE:

1. Anal Training & Education Set

The seven-piece Anal Training & Education Set includes a small silicone butt plug, a medium vibrating butt plug, large weighted butt plug, a lube applicator, zipper travel bag, and a complete guide to anal play, so you can buy this one kit and have it all there.

2. Swirl Texture Plug

This textured plug features a swirl design to feel unlike anything you’ve ever tried before. It also vibrates, with an easy one-touch button that cycles through six different vibration modes. The Swirl is the medium sized toy in the collection, and the smaller option has a bunch of little bumps on it, with the large one has horizontal ripples of varying sizes.

3. Snug Plug 2

This weighted plug is just one notch more intermediate than the beginner level one (they go from 1-5) so it’s a great place to start if you know you like anal play, but are still kinda figuring out your footing. It also comes with a handy case for travel, so you don’t have to have your precious butt plug rolling around a random drawer or worse, sitting in a sad Ziploc bag.

FROM LEWAND:

1. Point

This curved clitoral vibrator not only looks super chic, it’s also designed to cover all your genitalia for a full-on sensation. You can hold it against you, or grind against it. It’s USB rechargeable, waterproof, has 15 vibration modes and six intensities, and it’s also weighted. This means that it’s easier than ever to use, as the heft of the vibe will lay on your body and you can go hands-free.

2. Grand Bullet

This textured bullet is 40% more powerful than LeWand’s already powerful Bullet, meaning, it does not eff around. The textured grip makes it easier to handle, or you can also flip it and use that on your clit for a new sensation with the little nubs and some lube.

3. Petite Wand

The ultra-powerful Petite Wand is LeWand’s shower-friendly version of their OG LeWand. It comes in cute colors (got my eye on that blue one) and is fully USB rechargeable and cordless.

FROM DAME:

1. Eva II

This cute little beetle-shaped vibrator is designed specifically for hands-free penetrative sex, as the little spring-loaded wings rest against your labia during PIV. It’s a great idea in theory, but one thing to note: because so much of the cool design relies on it fitting properly (and it only has one size), if you have asymmetrical labia, very large or very small labia, it may not fit perrrrfectly.

2. Pom

The flexible Pom is USB rechargeable, waterproof, and features five patterns and speeds, all under a sleek, medical grade silicone casing. The curve means it’s similar in idea to the LeWand Point in that you can rest it on the curve of your mons pubis for max stimulation (this one’s not weighted tho).

3. Pillo

Not really a sex toy-toy, but still VERY worth mentioning (we’re fans, can you tell?) is Dame’s top third seller, the Pillo. It’s a specially designed wedge/cushion/pillow that you can prop underneath you during sex to make even your already favorite positions, that much better.

 

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